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avatar @glitch_
facetimed my girl and her lil sister said “damn how many boyfriends you got!?”

facetimed my girl and her lil sister said “damn how many boyfriends you got!?”

avatar @##Panda##@
Bought a Snickers earlier and the bloke said

Bought a Snickers earlier and the bloke said "Have a good day" and I wanted to say "Same to you" or "You too" but my face got confused and I said "Toot toot" instead and then we stared at each other for a second too long and then I left.

avatar @##Panda##@
four year old me waiting for my mom to stop talking to her friend to tell her I shit myself

four year old me waiting for my mom to stop talking to her friend to tell her I shit myself

avatar @##Panda##@

Not for me, thank you. No? Don't drink? No, I tried it once, and didn't like it. Have a smoke? I tried it once, and didn't like it. Great. Not at all, my daughter is just the same. Your only child, I presume. (Man laughs) (Man laughs and coughs)

avatar Dank Wizard

when you're walking late at night and the girl in front of you makes the same turn you were gonna make

avatar PixelJester
THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN A ZOMBIE IS LOOKING FOR BRAINS AND WALKS RIGHT PAST A DEMOCRAT RALLY

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN A ZOMBIE IS LOOKING FOR BRAINS AND WALKS RIGHT PAST A DEMOCRAT RALLY

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